Ladies and gentlemen, as Father of the Bride, it’s my duty and honour to make the first speech. I’d like to start by confessing that it’s been quite a road to get here. I’m reminded of a family favourite movie, “Father of the Bride” with Steve Martin starring as George Banks and the emotions a father goes through during this very special time in his daughter’s life.

The whirlwind of planning, activities, opinions on everything... from everybody. The endless decisions, choices, and compromises, madly spinning around him, making him dizzy, as though he’s a stranger -  on the outside - looking in.

In my case we add in the animated passion of an Italian mother, aunts, cousins, and of course the unwavering, completely focused, bride herself. Thank God for Nona - always in the background, keeping the peace. Viva Italia!

I discovered that women speak a secret female language - “Weddingeeze” if you will, which apparently, all girls learn, at a very young age  - Who knew?  They are very fluent and escape into it, at any time, during any conversation, and leave me, the father of the bride, standing there puzzled, as to what just happened.

Not that I wasn’t asked for my opinion, Oh no, mine was the first to eliminated or laughingly ignored, and I slowly learned my place.  I finally realized that the women didn’t really  want my opinion, they just wanted it to appear that way.  They are after all, as they say, the neck, and I’m just the head. The head of what, I never did figure out.

But onto today’s celebration. Family and friends are not measured in distance, but rather in love, support, and kinship, which you have all granted us, by joining us here on this very special day.
We sincerely thank-you all for coming and hope you have a great time.

Unfortunately, we are missing a very important person of love and support in Melissa’s life, her Papa, Joseph Melideo. I would ask that you help me with a most fitting tribute. Please, all turn to your neighbour, put on your biggest smile, and raise your glass in his honour -  to Papa  ...Thank you all.

I would like to pause for a moment to acknowledge two very special women, without whom, we would not have Melissa nor Michael.  The first being Melissa’s Mom, Toni, and the second of course is Teresa, Michael’s mom.

So I think we should take a moment, to think how important these two women, have been in the lives of  these two young people here, and thank them both, for giving them to us.

You see, I’ll bet you didn’t know that I’m actually quite a sensitive guy, and that Melissa in particular, gets a little twisted pleasure in searching for and giving me cards that she is betting will make me cry. I have even heard a -Yes! after she sits, watches and waits for my response, looking for that tear in my eye after reading them.  Melissa had even bet her Mom that it would be me in tears, walking her down the aisle.

I want to tell you what a wonderful daughter Melissa is, but  Melissa - I’m sorry, I  can’t read your notes, so I guess I’ll have to go it on my own.  But before I do .... Melissa, your mother and I, would like to say that you have never looked more beautiful, than you do today. 

Toni and I have been blessed with two strong, independent children, Jason and Melissa. Jason is six years Melissa’s senior, and throughout their lives they’ve had some pretty spirited rivalries and exchanges. In fact, you will hear from Jason later, expressing his point of view on the subject.

When Melissa was young, Jason was her big brother, she admired and loved him dearly, and  wanted to do everything he did.  She was a quick learner and Jason, although straddled with a little sister, did what every brother does, he ignored her ... but she just wouldn’t go away.

Jason was a skilled gymnast and would do flips off the high diving board. Melissa was not yet five years old, nor a strong swimmer, so I would be in the water when she would jump off the lower diving board.  She pushed me to let her jump off the high diving board and swim to the side on her own.

I struck her  a deal, that if she could swim unassisted, across the deep end that I would let her make that leap.  She immediately jumped in, sank to the bottom, and came a little  bit later up - swimming. Well not really swimming, she literally, fought her way across the pool, and earned the right to jump off the high dive. It was a sign of things to come, and I knew it.

Melissa, you will always be our Melissa, from the moment that you were born, from the time you took your first steps, you stumbling to my outstretched arms. 

From the  sports we played together when you were young. You were raised to play sports as a guy, not a girl, and you were right there, enjoying it all, always pushing, wanting to excel. I taught you about competition - to never be afraid it - to welcome it, and that good sportsmanship allows us to enjoy any outcome.  

Later in your life it was not fashionable to hang-out with Dad anymore. Although it hurt, I understood that it was part of your development, and that my role was changing. That was the day when you traded in your baseball uniform and cleats, for high heels and dresses. So began the transition to Melissa the Fashionista, with Toni in all her glory, gleefully steering that ship.

It is a very difficult thing for a father to do, to give his daughter to another man, to have and to hold, to love, from this day forth. But as I stand here day, I have moved beyond all that.

Your mother and I have watched you grow into the strong young woman you are today, with the ambition, intelligence, and determination to allow you to become whatever and whomever you decide. You also have a very special quality, found in very few people, empathy ... empathy for  the people around you, and the honest desire to help them. 

Your road to today’s celebration has been one which has required incredible personal commitment, sacrifice, and accomplishments.  Along the way you were also especially lucky, you somehow found the love of your life, in Michael, whom I know, had a large part in your successes, taking on whatever load he could, and keeping you on track to accomplish your goals.

So know I turn to you, Michael. Michael, I want to thank-you for being yourself.  Michael has been part of our family for years, I have personally watched him grow into the fine young man, you see here today. In fact,  I have the grocery bills to prove it.

All kidding aside, Michael has been working hard during the same time, forging his own career in the world of finance, and now holds the position of Senior Banking Officer, with his goals set towards management.  So you see, we haven’t lost a daughter, we’ve gained a 24 hour Personal Banker.  And after all, Melissa loves him, and Nona calls him “A verrry nice boy, he very good for Melissa”.  What other endorsement does he really need?

In today’s world of constant streams of information, every now and then, you see  ... or hear, sometime that strikes a chord with you. This was one for me:

When you’re happy... you smile,  but when you’re  really happy ... your eyes smile.

Well, I’ve see the way that Melissa’s eyes smile at Michael ... and I’ve also seen the way that Michael’s eyes smile at Melissa.  

As a parent you really can’t ask for more, except perhaps, to offer some bit of advice to keep that smile alive, so I put forward this brief compilation from others written on the subject.

Today  you take the first step in your marriage, by promising to love, honour, and cherish each other, for the rest of your lives.

Marriage is the joining of two people - the union of two hearts. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old, but thrives on the joy of each new day ...

Realize how lucky you are to be in love with someone who is in love with you. 

Listen objectively to each other, as you would a friend.  Agree that it’s okay to disagree (a favourite of mine).